Life in Japan

New Room! 彼との初めての引越し

Rose
Rose
久しぶり!Long time no write… September was crazy busy and it was over before I knew it! 9月は忙しい日々が続いてあっと言う間に終わった。

Why We Moved

Around the end of August, Seiya and I decided that we wanted to move into a bigger apartment. I had moved into his 1LDK about 6 months before, but there wasn’t a lot of space and considering we both do most of our work from home, we concluded that it would be better to rent a 2LDK so that we could each have our own private space to concentrate.

8月の下旬頃により大きい部屋に引っ越したいと言う話を誠也と2人でした。6ヶ月頃前に私が彼の1LDKに引っ越してきた。東京ほど狭くないけどそんなにスペースもなくて、2人とも家で仕事をすることが多いため、集中できるようなプライベートスペースのある2LDKに引っ越すことを決定した。

How We Found Our New Place

We looked online, and found a nice apartment which had just been built about 10 minutes by car from where we were living. We went to see it and we fell in love immediately. We decided to move as soon as we could, which was about a month from then.

ネットで検索し、当時住んでいたところから車で10分程離れている新築のアパートを見つけた。見学したらすぐに「これだ!」と思って、1ヶ月後に引っ越す予定をたてた。

Our Awesome New Room

Our new apartment feels much larger than our last one, partly due to all of the nice built-in storage space (closets, shelves, cabinets). Putting all our stuff away after moving in only took about 2-3 days. Of course, many things we put away temporarily, with hope that we will eventually find the perfect way to organize everything beautifully.

前の部屋より新しい部屋はすごく広く感じる。大きな理由の1つはクロゼットやシェルフ、収納スペースが多いから。引っ越して来て荷物を全部片付けるには2、3日しか掛からなかった。もちろん、とりあえず置いたものが多くて、あとでちゃんと整理しようとのことで一応全部片付けた。

Trouble and the Stress of Moving

Although there are many good things that come with moving, there is also stress and trouble that comes along with the move.

引越しはいいこともあるけど、もちろんストレスやトラブルもある。

Getting New Appliances/Furniture

At our old place, most of the appliances were rentals which we had to either give back or move ourselves and continue paying for. We decided it would be cheaper to buy used ones from a recycle shop and rent a small truck (free of charge) to move them to our new place. We enlisted the help of one of my male acquaintances from work on moving day so I didn’t have to do any heavy lifting!

前の部屋は家電はほとんどレンタルだったので、引っ越す前に返さないといけなかった。レンタルを続けるより、中古のものを買って自分たちで運んだ方が安いとわかったので、私の知り合いから助けを求めて男2人に全部任せた!(笑)

Although the whole thing went relatively well, there were a few things that we hadn’t taken into consideration, the biggest one being that the door to our new refrigerator opens to the right despite having a wall to the left. This makes it a hassle to open and get stuff out of it every time. We thought about reselling it and trying to buy a new one, but considering how much work was put into getting the first one in here, we decided to wait and see if we wouldn’t get used to this one. The result, after about a month, I think we are going to keep it. The minor inconvenience is worth avoiding the stress of replacing it again.

全体的にうまくいったが、考えてなかったこともいくつかあって、一番の問題は冷蔵庫のドアが右に開くタイプなのに新しい部屋の冷蔵庫の置き場が左角にあるからドアを開ける時狭くて毎回面倒ということ。また変えようか話たけど、さすがにめんどくさすぎるからとりあえずこのまま使うことにした。あれからもう1ヶ月経つけど、ちょっと慣れたし変えるのは大変だからこのまま使い続けようと思っている。

The point of this story being, it is important to consider all details of an object when you buy it, including how it is going to work in the place you will be using it. 大きいものを買う時は置こうと思っている場所も頭に入れて選ばないといけないとのことがポイント。

We also wanted to replace our bed because it was a single size (which he had bought last year before we started living together). We couldn’t find anyone to buy it despite the fact it had been barely used and was a really nice bed, so we ended up giving it away to a person we met on ジモティー, a Japanese site for giving away and selling used things. We bought a double size bed on Mercari, another Japanese site for selling various things, which brings us to our next big problem.

ベッドも新しくしたくて、持っていたシングルサイズベッドを売ろうとしたけど誰も買ってくれなかったから結局タダでジモティーを通して譲ることになった。そしてメルカリでダブルサイズベッドを買うことにして、次の問題が起きた。

The bed was too big to be brought up our indoor staircase and into our bedroom. We found this out when they tried to deliver it and our only option at that point was to pay extra money for them to bring it in through the veranda (we live on the second floor, so you can imagine this isn’t so easy). It ended up costing about half of what we paid for the bed (around 17,000, bringing the total cost up to over 50,000 yen. Although, as you can imagine, we will eventually move out of this apartment, meaning we will have to pay for this service again at that time.

メゾネットタイプ(玄関から階段で部屋に上がる)のアパートで、クロネコヤマトさんがベッドを入れに来てくれたらベッドが大きすぎてそこから入れないことがわかって、また改めて違う日にベランダの窓から二階の部屋への釣り上げとなった。料金はもちろん別で、安く買ったはずのベッドがトータル5万円以上になってしまった。しかも、また引っ越す時にもう一回やらないといけないからまたプラス1万7千円掛かっちゃう。

The point of this story being, it is important to get an estimate from an expert about whether something will fit up your staircase before you buy the thing.大きいものを買う前にプロと相談して部屋に入れれるかどうかを把握することがポイント。

Stress on Couples from Moving

Moving is stressful in general, but moving with another person can bring on a whole new aspect of stress. Feelings of excitement, restlessness, and anxiety about moving can affect your sleep, making it harder for you to maintain physical and mental health, causing irritability and emotional instability.

引っ越すとストレスはどうしてもあると思うけど、誰かと一緒に引っ越すとさらにストレスを感じることがある。興奮や緊張で眠れなくなったりすると体調的にも精神的にも辛い。

Before deciding to move, I don’t think Seiya and I had ever really had a fight about anything. In general, we both are the type of person to try to avoid conflict and get along with others. But the many stresses of moving created a tension between us that changed the dynamics of our relationship in some ways.

引っ越すことを決めた前はあまり誠也と喧嘩したことなかった。普段は2人とも平和好きだから喧嘩になる場面が少なかったかな。だけど引っ越しのストレスで2人のいつもの様子が少し変わってしまった。

Seiya doesn’t usually tell me when I do things that bother him. Instead, they come out into the open when we are having an argument about something completely different. Although this is not directly related to moving, this is something I noticed recently because we have had more opportunities to argue in the past month or so (lol).

私が誠也の気に入らないことをなにかしてしまった時、彼は私にそのことを教えてくれないクセが付いているみたいで、他のことで喧嘩した時に全部出てきてしまう。結果は何のこと喧嘩しているかわからなくなる。

So, what have I found as a solution to this problem? Not sure about the long-term result yet, but this is the process I have been following:

1. Temporarily stop the argument by suggesting you both wait 5 minutes until you have both cooled down
2. Tell him that while the things he is bringing up have no relation to the subject of this argument, I am very concerned about them and I do want to hear what he has to say about them
3. This is very important… LISTEN to him
4. Explain to him that I need him to tell me if I do something that bothers him WHEN I do the thing because otherwise I don’t know how to fix the problem (in this case he couldn’t give me any specific examples so I didn’t really know what kind of behavior he was referring to).

この問題の解決は?まだわからないけど、とりあえずこうやってる:

① 話を止めて、少し落ち着くまで5分ぐらい時間を置く
② 「今している話はこの話とは関係ないけど、あなたにとって重要なことみたいなのでもっと教えてください」と言う
③ すごく大事なことだけど、相手の話をちゃんと聞く!
④ 「私が何か気に入らないことをする時に、その時に言って欲しい」と伝える。そうじゃないと何がダメなのかわからないまままた同じことをやってしまう。

When having any kind of argument, the most important thing that we need to remember is that ultimately we are on the same side. It might sound cliche, but there really is no ‘me vs. him’ – only ‘us vs. the problem’. Even though your point is likely very valid and you feel that it is important to make your partner understand it, it is even more important that you try to understand your partner’s point and recognize that he feels the same way that you do.

何かの喧嘩をしている時に1番覚えておきたいことは私達が仲間だと言うこと。私vs彼じゃなくて、私達vs問題だから。私の意見も間違ってないと思うしそれをわかってもらいたい気持ちもある。だけど、そんなことよりも相手の意見をちゃんと聞いて相手の気持ちをわかろうとすることがずっと大事。意見は違ってもきっと気持ちは同じだから。

Sometimes we say too much. Sometimes we get so focused on trying to communicate our thoughts that we end up losing sight of what we are trying so hard to protect. What I learned from this experience is, first we should take a step back and cool down. Then, we should listen. Sometimes we should apologize. And we should always say ‘I love you’ and ‘thank you’ when they open up and talk.

言いすぎる時もある。自分の考えを伝えようと必死になりすぎて、守ろうとしているものを見失う時もある。この経験からわかったことはまず止まって冷静になること。それから聞くこと。時には謝ること。そして相手が心を開けて話してくれる時に、いつも「愛している」と「ありがとう」を言うこと。

Conclusion

It took me way too long to write this post. I will do my best to write more frequently from now on. 長い間ブログ放置してしまった。これからもっと頻繁に書くことを心がけます!(^_^;)

ABOUT ME
Rose
Rose
An American girl writing about living and working in Japan. 日本在住のアメリカ人の女の子のブログ。

COMMENT

メールアドレスが公開されることはありません。 * が付いている欄は必須項目です